I’m sure you’ve probably heard the quote by Henry Ford that goes: “whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right”. And it couldn’t be more true! Our beliefs and attitudes shape our outcomes and whether we can be successful at something. The same goes for picky eating. If you believe your child is a picky eater, they are. If you believe your child is an adventurous eater, they are. And more importantly, what we say and believe about our children is what they will say and believe about themselves.
LEMME SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.
What we say and believe about our children is what they will say and believe about themselves.
BOOM!
We already know that our kids are ALWAYS listening and watching us. This is why mindset and reframing our perspectives when it comes to feeding kids is so important. If we say things like “Billy won’t eat broccoli because he’s a picky eater”, then do we think that Billy is ever gonna give broccoli a chance? NOPE! Why would he? We already said it ourselves – he won’t eat broccoli and we’ve labeled him a picky eater.
BUT what if we reframe it and say something like “Billy is still learning to like broccoli and he will try it when he’s ready”. Now do we think that Billy is gonna give broccoli a chance one day? Most likely, yes!
(Continued below)
The biggest gift that we can give our children is showing them the possibilities and how to believe in themselves. Approaching pickiness about food should really be no different. It’s just like all the other things that kids are still learning to do. Lemme draw a parallel for a moment with kids learning to tie their shoes and picky eating.
Learning to tie their shoes is an activity that all kids learn at some point or another in childhood. There is no pressure to learn how to tie shoes, because it will happen one day. Our thoughts and beliefs about it might be: “It’s okay that Suzy can’t tie her shoe right now. She is still learning to tie them and one day she will be able to do it.” And then one day, Suzy might start becoming interested in learning to tie her shoe, she might learn some techniques and then practice them. The more fun we make learning it, the better. We might say a rhyme or a song. The less pressure we put on her to perform, the better.
Now let’s see how we can apply the same thinking to learning to like a new food.
There is no pressure to learn how to eat broccoli, because it will happen with one day. Our thoughts and beliefs about it might be: “It’s okay that little Suzy doesn’t want to eat the broccoli right now. She is still learning to like broccoli and one day she will like it.” And then one day, Suzy might start becoming curious about the broccoli on the dinner table. She might notice that her bestie at school brings broccoli in her lunch. She might think its fun to pretend feed her doll this vegetable or let her dinosaurs much on these little green trees. She might like dunking it in ranch dip and pretending the tree is covered in snow. And one day when she’s ready, she might try a bite. The more we allow her to explore and the less pressure we put on her, the better.
Even though our kids might not be eating a particular food yet, we still give them exposures to food by making the food available at meals and snacks, by inviting our kids to have fun with food, and learning about new foods through play. But more on that another day!
What is your mindset about feeding your child? How might you approach it differently going forward?